Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Stuart Little

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and prayers. I can't tell you how much you all mean to me. I hate to post about the negative things that happen but it's good therapy so I'll hope you can forgive me when I rant and rave. And here's one now:

Yesterday sucked. It started with a phone call from my best friend. She's buying a van from us. Actually, we're giving her the van and she's paid for some of the parts to fix it. Unfortunately, the guy Bran got the van from filled the back of the title out with our information and in NY you can't just hand that title over to someone else. You have to title the van to you and then sign that title over to the new owner. Which, by the way, cost $80.75 plus insurance as you can't have it parked in your yard without insurance. Which I paid for and never asked my friend for. We're trying our best to help her out. She's now a single mother of 2 living in low income housing. She gets food stamps and still struggles to make ends meet. Her car is dying. She has very little money. It cost her less for the parts for this awesome van than it would to fix her current vehicle. I even told her to keep $150 of what she was going to put towards the parts because I knew she would need money to get it on the road as soon as we got the title. Make no mistake, there isn't much that I haven't or wouldn't do to help her. At the very end of January I went to DMV to start the paperwork for the van. About a week later she gave us some money to buy parts with. The plan was that Bran would go through it from front to back and fix everything that needed to be fixed and have it ready by the time the title arrived. Yesterday she called and told me that her father said we were either screwing her over or there was something wrong with the title since we haven't gotten it yet. He went on to tell her that we were lying to her because all you have to do is take the papers to DMV and they print all the papers you need for your new vehicle, including the title, and hand them to you right there on the spot. For all of you not familiar with NYS DMV let me just say that couldn't be farther from the truth. In most cases it takes between 8 and 10 weeks to get a title back in the mail from Albany. I'm not going to go off on a tangent and tell you how pissed and hurt I was that her father would even suggest that I would do something like that to her because what pissed me off and hurt me even more was the fact that she hinted that she believed him. So much so that she called her mother and several other people to ask if what I was telling her was the truth. 'Nuff said.

THEN we had our meeting with probation yesterday. We drove an hour to get there to be told by some snotty asshole that we weren't on the schedule and that they never schedule these matters at 1:30. Someone finally took the 2 minutes that it takes to fill the form out but let me know she was really put out about it. Tell it to the ass who booked the appointment sister. Then we went upstairs to meet with Becky from CPS. Darcie chickened out and wouldn't tell her she's scared of Pat because she's terrified of what he'll do if and when he finds out that she's talked to someone else. The saddest part is that if she had just told Becky the truth they most likely wouldn't have had to go with the dick tonight. I guess we need more counseling to build up her confidence. I'm just so discouraged and furious and...well, you name it and I'm most likely feeling it.

NOW, here's a little something silly for you all:

Saturday we picked the kids up from visitation and Darcie told us how My ex split she and Danny up and started questioning her about who she had talked to and what she had said. He also tried to convince her that his bitch of a wife didn't grab her by the throat and choke her but that she only set her hands on her shoulders. WTF??? He wasn't even there. Asshole. Anyway, I was of course furious and started babbling to Brandon asking him what gave the ex the right to grill my baby girl like that and from the back of the van Dailaesse started crying and screeching...

You don't grill family!!! You only grill hamburgers! Not family members, just hamburgers!!! And sometimes chicken. But not family! NO!!! Don't let him grill my family!!!

All I could think of was the line from Stuart Little when they tell the cat that Stuart is a family member and you don't eat family.

THEN my father was over on Sunday helping to work on the bathroom. Dailaesse was bugging to have booby. I was arguing because it was getting to close to dinner. My dad came through the living room and told her she was a big girl and asked when she was going to give up her booby. How did Dailaesse respond?

When I start kindergarten.

Hey, even a long term plan is better than no plan at all.


Leslie said...

You rant, sweetie - you rant. Goddess knows you deserve it. I'm really sorry Darcie didn't feel safe enough to talk, and sorry that you've got 3 more years of booby in your future. sigh.........
I can't figure out which is worse (giggle)...
hugs and hoping for better times

:L, Laura said...

oh honey
i wish there were something i could say or do.
i think it's all rough.

i do suggest that with the friend you are helping, as much as it hurts, you write everything down that you've agreed to and are doing.
trouble is from 27+ yrs of teaching, the people i helped the most were most often the ones who ended up causing trouble...
so here you are helping her, but her family doesn't believe you and is putting her against you - why? you make them look bad. they're family - they should be helping, so obviously you are evil and have an ulterior motive.
face her, show her the stuff in writing, tell her you're hurt, and frankly, if she doesn't want to trust someone who's helping her the deal is off... ok too strong, but at least be sure you are not going too far, as it will hurt more. if it's in writing, even with a long term pay me $500/yr then she and they can hold their heads up. it becomes "not charity", and easy for cretins like her dad to understand. then you mentally "blow off the $" as it's a gift you're making....
free isn't always appreciated except by the evolved - and you are, but it means pain when you "cast pearls before swine" - not your friend obviously, but again - even she listened and doubted some.
[my worst moment - alright one of them- was being in an abusive situation, and telling my best friend, and the jerk was such an oj charmer type she didn't believe me. wanna guess if she's still my best friend?]
hugs, :L

Diane said...

Maybe your ex and his girlfriend feel that if they tell the lie enough times it'll magically turn into the truth. Hugs to you and your kids.

Love Dailaesse's answer ... at least she didn't say college.

Maia said...

You are doing such a good deed for your friend. Be patient. Part of why she is in this position is because of the support she has had, or more accurately not had, from her family. Her father's attitude demonstrates this so clearly. I believe that she does not fully understand the love and support you are offering because she has not had it offered to her before. When she listens to her father she is just falling back into the only thing she knows. Keep helping her, in doing so you are also showing her, and her children, that there is another way to treat people. I hope you can avoid taking it personally, she is only doing what she knows. Don't give up on her, it will only prove that her worst fears (and her father) are right. Your friendship is a tremendous gift. Bless you both for putting yourself out there.

I have NO clue what to say about your ex and his girlfriend. Hugs all around and I hope there is a positive solution soon.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your friend. Even when we think we know a person, there are always surprises. And trust is very difficult now days for anyone. I just hope she fully appreciates all you have done for her when the deed is completed. Shame you can't tell her Father to go soak his head!

It's a real shame Darcie couldn't pull out the strength to tell what happened, but she is so young, and of course, that is what the ex-s wife is counting on. You have to look at it through her eyes, because she is the one left to face them after you drop them off and are gone. A shame the photos and medical report couldn't have been sufficient.

Hope you have a pleasant weekend.

laura said...

friday 3-10, hoping to hear some good news at your end soon.
... thinking of you with knitterly hugs! laura

Anonymous said...

What a busy day you had, I feel awful you have to endure all that.

Expect your 3rd gift by next week hope you will feel a little more spoiled.

Take Care and Remember these experiences just make you a stronger person.

Your SP

SDMC said...

Goodness....sometimes my semi negative husband tells me that no good deed goes unpunished. :-(

On the other note, I hate that your family is going through the crazy ex chaos.