After all the good times we had together you had to go and share your little indiscretions with the world. You made me look inadequate. I am so hurt. I gave you some of the best hours of my life. I thought we would be together forever but you tossed me aside like I was nothing more than a pair of sweaty gym socks. I heard you say how much you loved me and wanted me. You led me on. How can you be so cruel? And then you try to make nice by setting me up with your daughter. That worked out real well huh? "Some days you're the turd and some days you're the sock," you say. I've never been so humiliated. You're nothing but a hoe. You better hope I don't develop large gaping holes or I'm calling the sock police.
-Chutes N Ladders in Carol Green
So the socks have issues. I told you yesterday they were childish. Geesh. And about the turd thing, I put them in the wash right away. What more do these things want from me? I wish they would just get it through their thick heels that it's over between us.
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