Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Mice & Ladybugs & Deer, Oh My!

I've always loved fall. The colors, the smells, the sounds. It's a beautiful time of year. BUT I'm beginning a new love-hate relationship with the season. You see, over the past couple of years we've had lots of uninvited guests at our home. And while I love all of God's creatures, I love them even more when they are OUTSIDE where they belong.

First there are the mice. I realize that probably every house in town has them this time of year. They sneak in and start stealing cotton balls and Q-tips to build their nests for the winter. And I realize that they need to eat too and try to remember that when I find empty boxes (yes, entire boxes) of pasta in the pantry. This little feat of theirs completely perpelexes me. I mean, what the hell are they doing with boxes full of uncooked pasta??? And can you imagine how long it must take them to cart all of my pasta off to wherever it is that they're hiding it? Which is another thing that puzzles me. I've NEVER found the food that they steal. And they steal ALOT of food. If you were to take the food they steal and compare it their body size you would surely find that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that they could eat it all. It has to go somewhere. But where? Anyways, I know they have to eat too but sometimes I secretly hope that they break every friggen little tooth in their heads on my uncooked pasta. And even though all of that drives me crazy there's nothing that puts me into orbit like finding the little black presents that they leave around the house sometimes. It's bad enough to see things disappear but when you start finding things they leave behind, well, that's a problem. Bran asked me last night why they shot so much. I told him I'm thinking when something is that little that input has to equal output. Kind of like new babies who poop as soon as they eat. Which reminded me of when Dailaesse was little. She would usually go during her meal. I learned quickly not to nurse her in the tub. Getting back on track...this year I'm not sure who I hate worse, the mice or my cat. Have you ever seen Garfield, The Movie? There's a scene where the little mouse runs through the house and Garfield just watches it. Doesn't run to catch it. Just sits there. That's what I imagine Mickey must do. He's obvously not much of a mouser. I told Bran he better start earning his keep or I'm taking him to the pound. I've fed him all summer and now I expect results.

Then there's the ladybugs. Does anyone else have trouble with ladybugs this time of year or is it just an Adirondack thing? We start out with a catch and release program but usually after the first few days I can't stand it anymore. I bring out the heavy artilery...the vacuum. I explain to them that I'd really like to bring them back outside but I just don't have time. Plus, I think the ones we bring outside just come back in anyways. It's not like I'm shipping them to say Brazil, I just open the front door and send them packing. Bran just vacuumed about 30 off the living room ceiling and hour ago and there are at least 20 there again already. Damn things.

Then there's the deer. First of all, I love deer. I think they're beautiful. They have the softest, gentlest eyes. Very pretty. They're also very stupid animals. Think about it, what would possess any living creature to throw itself into the side of a moving vehicle? Or be half way out in the road, see a car coming along at 55 miles per hour at it, turn to run the other way, get all the way to the shoulder of the road and then at the last minute change it's mind and dart back out in front of the car? I've seen it happen more times than not. Stupid. Anyways, my gripe with the deer is this...they eat flowers and trees. Not my flowers and trees. I have no flowers or trees. My kids are deathly afraid of bees. They eat my mothers flowers and trees. Who in turn complains to me about the deer eating her flowers. As if I can do something to stop them. I've tried reasoning with them when they're out eating apples of the trees in the back yard. I've tried begging them to stop so I don't have to listen to her complain. I've even tried telling them that they're going to get shot if they keep eating her stuff. Of course, an animal who throws itself at cars for no apparent reason isn't detered by the threat of gun shot. I finally convinced her to get a noise making contraption for the back yard. It's working for the time being so the deer and I are on good terms. We'll see if that lasts once it's almost winter and they're hungry and they start coming through the front yard instead of the back. I have a very good idea of what my mother will be getting for Christmas this year...another noise maker.

In knitting news, I did indeed finish the Amble socks in time. I really didn't think I was going to make it but I was thrilled that I did. The new socks are Mosaic and I can't wait to get them started. I've ordered yarn. I have empty needles. Bring them on! I also started the replacement hat for the nice lady who lives in Lake Clear. The cable is exactly the same. I even cast on the same number of stitches. I know that the hat stretches to the same width as the old one but it's still driving me crazy that it looks so much smaller. The old hat has absolutely no stretch left at all. I hope she's happy with it. It's been a lot of fun to work on.

2 comments:

Leslie said...

for the deer: Have you tried the old trick of getting hair sweepings from the barber/hairdresser and putting them in old (clean) pantyhose feet then tying those feet around the yard? The deer smell the people hair (can't be the washed kind) and hightail it out of Dodge (I'm told). Just a thought :)

Deb said...

I really enjoyed visiting your site. deb

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